Denial

Today I’d like to talk about Denial. Here is one definition of Denial:

Denial is a defense mechanism postulated by Sigmund Freud, in which a person is faced with a fact that is too uncomfortable to accept and rejects it instead, insisting that it is not true despite what may be overwhelming evidence. The subject may use:

simple denial - deny the reality of the unpleasant fact altogether

minimisation - admit the fact but deny its seriousness (a combination of denial and rationalization); or

projection - admit both the fact and seriousness but deny responsibility.

When someone calls our Studio asking for information, and then comes for a consultation, most of the time it is because that person is having some sort of weight problem, health problem or just generally is out of shape. After telling us a litany of their weight or health problems, once they are faced with actually making a commitment to an exercise program suddenly all of those problems miraculously seem to disappear.

Those people are in denial.

Recently I had two consultations, back to back, on a Saturday morning - one was a 32 year old gentleman and the other was a young woman in her 20’s. Both of them were over 300 lbs. but couldn’t commit to an exercise program.

Those people were in denial.

I recently spoke to one of my clients who has done extremely well on our program. She has lost almost 40 lbs. and over 25 inches in just 5 months and looks fantastic! She told me that she is a bit upset that some of her friends will not acknowledge her weight loss and the fact that she looks so different. It’s no surprise that her friends are extremely overweight and out of shape. I told her that, if her friends were to acknowledge the fact that she has lost weight, they may have to look at themselves and admit that they have a weight and fitness problem.

Those friends are in denial.

How can denial be overcome? First you have to honestly admit that you have a problem; and be willing to do something about it. I believe that some people just like to hear themselves talk; they tell anyone that will listen how much they “know” they need to get more fit and healthy; but when they are faced with doing something about it, the excuses start:

I can’t afford it. But you “can” afford to go out for lunch or dinner almost every day; you “can” afford that new $200 handbag when you have a closet full; but when it comes to your health, you “can’t” afford it.

I have to think about it. You are overweight, unhealthy, on high blood pressure medication, cholesterol medication, have aching joints; what is there to think about?

I have to talk to my spouse. It’s true that, in most relationships, spouses discuss financial outlays. But who needs to get healthy – you or your spouse? And if they do not support you in your decision to pursue a fit and healthy lifestyle – what does that say about them?

I have no time. You have time to shop, you have time to spend with your friends, you have time to golf, you have time to go out for meals; but you have no time to exercise. Unless you live a fit and healthy lifestyle you won’t be able to shop, spend time with your friends or go out for meals.

So, let’s stop kidding ourselves. You “can” live a fit and healthy lifestyle if you truly want to. Let’s stop denying what is right in front of you….get up, get out and start living healthy, or one day you won’t be able to do so.