First of all, I would like to wish everyone a Very Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah and a Safe and Happy New Year!!
And talking about the New Year:
They have probably already been talked about with family and friends, already been written down, and soon will be splattered across all the social media outlets for all to see. No, I’m not talking about your famous Christmas cookie recipe or your big holiday party plans. I’m talking about your New Year’s resolutions!
That’s right, that list of things you are going to change when January 1st, 2012 gets here, or maybe Jan. 2nd, when the hangover has subsided. Each year millions of people make grand plans for a new direction in their life. Ambitious goals such as quitting smoking, saving money, drinking less alcohol, and my personal favorite (and BY FAR most common)….GET IN SHAPE!
Go ahead and prepare yourself for the Facebook status updates declaring their commitment to become fitter and healthier in 2012. “Time to get in the gym baby, it’s 2012, woo-hoo!” or “Getting my pump on, it’s a new year and that College Reunion isn’t far away!”
Now, don’t get me wrong, I am always happy to hear someone who is ready to make a change and finally make an investment in the one thing you only get ONE of, YOURSELF (sorry, no lease agreements on that body of yours), so any kind of decision in that direction is great!
My question is, if it truly was that important to you, if you genuinely were ready to dedicate yourself and make the sacrifices necessary to achieve your goals, WHY ARE YOU WAITING? You see, the fact that you are willing to place other things ahead of your supposed “priority” contradicts your entire resolution. Instead of saying you are going to get in shape and live a healthier life in 2012; you should say, you’re going to find some time between your busy work, horrible eating habits, and hectic social schedules, to exercise a couple of times per week.
I hear about it all the time. A new year rolls around and all of a sudden the gyms are full and everyone is on a mission to fulfill their new, lofty fitness aspirations. When they realize in this world of instant gratification that they have a chosen a resolution that requires a lifetime of commitment, they lose the determination they thought they had and slowly disappear from the gym.
The fact is a very small percentage of people actually keep the resolutions they make, especially when it comes to “getting in shape.”
The reason for this is, a resolution is a waste of time. Anything that is important to you is NEVER worth putting off until it is convenient, popular, or trendy to do so.
If someone told you that you were going to lose your job if you didn’t start performing better, would you wait until 2012 to start being a better employee? Probably not. Why? Because having a job is important to you.
You may say I’m comparing apples and oranges, but I contend your body and health are far more important than a job could ever be. So, as noble and worthy as your supposed resolutions may be, are they important to you? If so, WHY ARE YOU WAITING?
Now that I have destroyed your hopes and dreams and shattered hope for that new life you were going to start in 2012, what can you do? I want you all to understand I write this from a place of experience. I am definitely not “casting stones” because I have been guilty of this myself. I can’t begin to count how many resolutions I have made that ended up as a miserable failure, so trust me, I’m not preaching to you.
I’m coming to you from a place of care and understanding to inspire and motivate you to be the best you can be TODAY and not wait another minute to do so! Too many times I see people procrastinate and not do what they need to do, only to delay the inevitable.
People, it’s NOT going away. At some point, you are going to have to address IT. Whether it’s 2011 or 2012, your IT is not disappearing, so why not begin to the journey today?
I want you to be honest with yourself, how badly do you want it? Are you willing to do WHATEVER IT TAKES? Or are you simply making promises you can’t keep? The answer is up to you, what’s it going to be?
As always, thank you for taking time to read my newsletters. My hope is that I can motivate you to be the best YOU that YOU can be today! Dare to be great and never be told you can’t do something.
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
I am my own person...and the "Couples Syndrome"
Hello everyone….and this is actually Laura, not Frank. I thought I should, on occasion, get into the act. Well…Halloween is only a couple of days away…then Thanksgiving and Christmas. This year has certainly flown.
I’ve been encountering something lately that I call the “Couples Syndrome”. But, before I get into that, let me tell you a little bit about my past.
Before I met my husband I was in a relationship that, I came to realize, was not healthy. Joey was a friend of my cousin; he used to belong to a local band and was a singer for many years. He was attractive and always had a lot of girls after him. When I met him and began dating him many of my friends thought I was extremely lucky.
What they didn’t know is that he was lazy and hated to work. He was also very insecure and was always critical of everything I did, how I looked and dressed. I always worked in Manhattan and so I had to dress up for work on a daily basis. Whenever I purchased new clothes he would beg to see them, and then tell me how much he didn’t like them. He also always dismissed my job as being trivial.
It took me a long time to realize what he was doing to my self-esteem but, thankfully, through my friends and family I finally broke off my relationship with him. I vowed that no other person would ever allow me to feel bad about myself.
I came to realize that I deserved to have someone that supported me instead of trying to tear me down.
Now…let’s get to my “Couples Syndrome”. For some reason, in the past few weeks we have had couples visiting our Studios looking for information on our services. In most cases one partner is more excited about starting an exercise routine, or needs it more.
I had one couple where the woman told me how out of shape she was, gave me a list of her medications and “knew” she needed to start an exercise program. Then both of them asked to set up a complimentary workout session for the next day. Of course, the next morning the man called to cancel.
What happened? What I believe is that one partner was really interested in our services and wanted to help herself, while her partner was not interested and so talked her out of it. Why would he do that? Maybe he was afraid that she would start looking better and he would be left behind.
But the bottom line is that he just didn’t support her, which is very sad.
Through the years we have had many clients like this. The female client that had to stop coming to work out because her husband complained that dinner wasn’t on the table when he got home; the husband that always cooks fattening foods while his wife is trying to lose weight; the woman who has been coming to our Studio for years and her husband has no idea, because he is so unsupportive.
I believe that if you truly care about someone you support them in whatever they want to do, as long as it is not harmful to them or others. My husband has always been supportive to me, and I’m the same way with him.
So, are you your own person? Or do you allow your partner to make the wrong decisions for you? Think about it….
I’ve been encountering something lately that I call the “Couples Syndrome”. But, before I get into that, let me tell you a little bit about my past.
Before I met my husband I was in a relationship that, I came to realize, was not healthy. Joey was a friend of my cousin; he used to belong to a local band and was a singer for many years. He was attractive and always had a lot of girls after him. When I met him and began dating him many of my friends thought I was extremely lucky.
What they didn’t know is that he was lazy and hated to work. He was also very insecure and was always critical of everything I did, how I looked and dressed. I always worked in Manhattan and so I had to dress up for work on a daily basis. Whenever I purchased new clothes he would beg to see them, and then tell me how much he didn’t like them. He also always dismissed my job as being trivial.
It took me a long time to realize what he was doing to my self-esteem but, thankfully, through my friends and family I finally broke off my relationship with him. I vowed that no other person would ever allow me to feel bad about myself.
I came to realize that I deserved to have someone that supported me instead of trying to tear me down.
Now…let’s get to my “Couples Syndrome”. For some reason, in the past few weeks we have had couples visiting our Studios looking for information on our services. In most cases one partner is more excited about starting an exercise routine, or needs it more.
I had one couple where the woman told me how out of shape she was, gave me a list of her medications and “knew” she needed to start an exercise program. Then both of them asked to set up a complimentary workout session for the next day. Of course, the next morning the man called to cancel.
What happened? What I believe is that one partner was really interested in our services and wanted to help herself, while her partner was not interested and so talked her out of it. Why would he do that? Maybe he was afraid that she would start looking better and he would be left behind.
But the bottom line is that he just didn’t support her, which is very sad.
Through the years we have had many clients like this. The female client that had to stop coming to work out because her husband complained that dinner wasn’t on the table when he got home; the husband that always cooks fattening foods while his wife is trying to lose weight; the woman who has been coming to our Studio for years and her husband has no idea, because he is so unsupportive.
I believe that if you truly care about someone you support them in whatever they want to do, as long as it is not harmful to them or others. My husband has always been supportive to me, and I’m the same way with him.
So, are you your own person? Or do you allow your partner to make the wrong decisions for you? Think about it….
I would never call you fat....
Hello again everyone….and I hope you had a great Summer. That is, of course, despite the locusts, earthquake and hurricane…. Let’s hope the Fall is a little more calm.
As the owner of a fitness studio I get various trade publications. Last month I noticed an advertisement for a marketing agency. It pictured a woman with the caption, “Don’t Call Me Fat.” I imagine the message was that, to sell your studio’s services, you shouldn’t be aggressive in how you word your advertisements or talk to potential clients.
Well, I would never call anyone fat. It’s rude and insulting and it’s just not my way.
But…how do you get the message across to those that are “weight challenged” that they are literally killing themselves by being overweight and out of shape? Sometimes being politically correct just doesn’t get the job done.
I often get people coming into my Studios for information, especially in Williamsburg, that are 40, 50, 60 or even 100 pounds overweight. The typical scenario is that they have (or are on the borderline of) diabetes, have high blood pressure, have no energy and are on medications for all of the above, or more.
I don’t go house to house drumming up business; these people come to me supposedly for help. But when I try to provide a solution, and ask for a commitment, suddenly the tune changes. I have heard every excuse imaginable why someone cannot start a health and fitness program; so nothing is new or surprising to me or my wife.
What is sad is that I have come to realize that some people just can’t be helped. I know that, as a fitness professional, I probably shouldn’t feel that way but there is such strong evidence to back up my feelings.
Last month we began providing Free monthly Seminars in our Studio on healthy living and nutrition. Free!! Unfortunately we have had a very limited response. My wife thinks that part of the reason is because people probably think that these Seminars are a way to introduce our services. The truth is that our services are never mentioned before, during or after the Seminar. As our fitness coach said, “Can’t people believe that we are trying to do something good?”
What is very exciting is that one person who did come to our first seminar asked my wife for further information. This person said that they had become even more motivated to live a healthy lifestyle by listening to our Fitness Coach; and they then decided to become a client!
I often wonder why some people are so afraid of healthy living and fitness. What are their fears?
Are they afraid that they will actually look and feel better, have more energy and stamina, and maybe even begin to “like” eating in a healthy manner?
You only have one life to live; isn’t it better to live that life feeling the best you possibly can? Or, do you honestly not want to be helped?
Well, either way, I would never call you fat….
As the owner of a fitness studio I get various trade publications. Last month I noticed an advertisement for a marketing agency. It pictured a woman with the caption, “Don’t Call Me Fat.” I imagine the message was that, to sell your studio’s services, you shouldn’t be aggressive in how you word your advertisements or talk to potential clients.
Well, I would never call anyone fat. It’s rude and insulting and it’s just not my way.
But…how do you get the message across to those that are “weight challenged” that they are literally killing themselves by being overweight and out of shape? Sometimes being politically correct just doesn’t get the job done.
I often get people coming into my Studios for information, especially in Williamsburg, that are 40, 50, 60 or even 100 pounds overweight. The typical scenario is that they have (or are on the borderline of) diabetes, have high blood pressure, have no energy and are on medications for all of the above, or more.
I don’t go house to house drumming up business; these people come to me supposedly for help. But when I try to provide a solution, and ask for a commitment, suddenly the tune changes. I have heard every excuse imaginable why someone cannot start a health and fitness program; so nothing is new or surprising to me or my wife.
What is sad is that I have come to realize that some people just can’t be helped. I know that, as a fitness professional, I probably shouldn’t feel that way but there is such strong evidence to back up my feelings.
Last month we began providing Free monthly Seminars in our Studio on healthy living and nutrition. Free!! Unfortunately we have had a very limited response. My wife thinks that part of the reason is because people probably think that these Seminars are a way to introduce our services. The truth is that our services are never mentioned before, during or after the Seminar. As our fitness coach said, “Can’t people believe that we are trying to do something good?”
What is very exciting is that one person who did come to our first seminar asked my wife for further information. This person said that they had become even more motivated to live a healthy lifestyle by listening to our Fitness Coach; and they then decided to become a client!
I often wonder why some people are so afraid of healthy living and fitness. What are their fears?
Are they afraid that they will actually look and feel better, have more energy and stamina, and maybe even begin to “like” eating in a healthy manner?
You only have one life to live; isn’t it better to live that life feeling the best you possibly can? Or, do you honestly not want to be helped?
Well, either way, I would never call you fat….
Let Me Tell You A Story
I hope everyone is enjoying their Summer and have gone on vacation. Just around the corner school and football begins.
Let me tell you a story – or some stories:
A couple of weeks ago a young woman came in to speak to my wife about our services. She told my wife that she wanted to lose about 75 lbs., and they discussed our different packages.
She also said that she found it hard to make commitments, so she wouldn’t be looking for a long-term package. After further discussion she asked if she could come in for a complimentary session.
Now this woman is a couple of years away from 30. I met with her and she also told me that she wants to lose about 75 pounds because she has hopes of having children and she realizes that being overweight could complicate a pregnancy.
After just a few minutes into the comp session I had to have her lie down on her back and put a cold towel on her forehead. I actually cut the session short because I knew she wouldn’t be able to finish even a 30 minute basic session,
We then sat down to discuss our packages, and she said she wanted to only try us out – so she purchased 3 sessions, or one week. Needless to say, she only came in two times and told our fitness coach that she “was going to exercise on her own”!!
OK…now who is kidding who? This young woman is “never” going to exercise on her own. Not yet 30 years old and unable to do even the simplest exercises.
But, I will tell you where she is going to be at 30 years old…..probably 100 pounds overweight with high blood pressure and diabetes, if not something worse. And, what about the baby she so desperately wants? Even if she does become pregnant all that extra weight will be a hazard to her pregnancy. And when the baby comes….what kind of an example is she setting for her child?
As my wife often says….everyone wants to lose weight and become fit…but no one wants to actually do the “work”.
On the flip side, my wife spoke to a young woman a couple of weeks ago who has cystic fibrosis. She told my wife that she wants to become stronger because this disease has sapped her strength.
If anyone had the excuse not to exercise, this young woman does. But she wants to push herself to become more fit and healthy. The only reason she hasn’t started already is because her doctor feels that she isn’t ready. She told me she’s seeing her doctor next month and hopes to begin a routine as soon as she is cleared.
A few months ago we had a Groupon campaign. Groupon is an on-line special deal service, and we offered an Evaluation plus 2 Fitness Sessions for a discounted price.
I had a young woman come in a couple of weeks ago to redeem a Groupon. She was over 300 pounds, with a body fat index that was so high that it could not be measured. I did an Evaluation and then discussed the results with her. Not only was she obese and out of shape, but her eating habits were extremely bad.
While discussing her eating habits she told me that “In Williamsburg the restaurants give you large portions.”
What??? So if someone puts a whole roast pig in front of you it means that you should eat the whole thing??
She contacted me a few days later to say that she had asked for a refund from Groupon because the experience was “not what she expected.”
What did she expect? That she was going to a gym where they would just tell her what she wanted to hear? A gym where they would ignore her true needs and let her go on using their equipment without getting any real results?
My wife said that most people just don’t want to hear the truth; so when they “do” hear the truth they ignore it or run the other way.
I own a fitness studio which is, of course, a business. Bringing in new clients is part of that business.
But….fitness and health is more than just a job to me; it’s my passion. And it has been my passion for over 30 years.
It frustrates me when I see people, especially young people, being so flippant about their health. To some people being 50, 60, 70 or 100 pounds overweight is nothing!! They would rather go to a doctor and be prescribed pills for ailments that can easily be avoided with just a little work.
There’s that word again – “work”.
As my wife says, these people must think that miraculously the fat is going to disappear; they’ll wake up one morning 50 pounds lighter just by dreaming about it.
Well….that’s not going to happen. Nothing worth having comes easy. And most things that come easy are not worth having.
Let me tell you a story – or some stories:
A couple of weeks ago a young woman came in to speak to my wife about our services. She told my wife that she wanted to lose about 75 lbs., and they discussed our different packages.
She also said that she found it hard to make commitments, so she wouldn’t be looking for a long-term package. After further discussion she asked if she could come in for a complimentary session.
Now this woman is a couple of years away from 30. I met with her and she also told me that she wants to lose about 75 pounds because she has hopes of having children and she realizes that being overweight could complicate a pregnancy.
After just a few minutes into the comp session I had to have her lie down on her back and put a cold towel on her forehead. I actually cut the session short because I knew she wouldn’t be able to finish even a 30 minute basic session,
We then sat down to discuss our packages, and she said she wanted to only try us out – so she purchased 3 sessions, or one week. Needless to say, she only came in two times and told our fitness coach that she “was going to exercise on her own”!!
OK…now who is kidding who? This young woman is “never” going to exercise on her own. Not yet 30 years old and unable to do even the simplest exercises.
But, I will tell you where she is going to be at 30 years old…..probably 100 pounds overweight with high blood pressure and diabetes, if not something worse. And, what about the baby she so desperately wants? Even if she does become pregnant all that extra weight will be a hazard to her pregnancy. And when the baby comes….what kind of an example is she setting for her child?
As my wife often says….everyone wants to lose weight and become fit…but no one wants to actually do the “work”.
On the flip side, my wife spoke to a young woman a couple of weeks ago who has cystic fibrosis. She told my wife that she wants to become stronger because this disease has sapped her strength.
If anyone had the excuse not to exercise, this young woman does. But she wants to push herself to become more fit and healthy. The only reason she hasn’t started already is because her doctor feels that she isn’t ready. She told me she’s seeing her doctor next month and hopes to begin a routine as soon as she is cleared.
A few months ago we had a Groupon campaign. Groupon is an on-line special deal service, and we offered an Evaluation plus 2 Fitness Sessions for a discounted price.
I had a young woman come in a couple of weeks ago to redeem a Groupon. She was over 300 pounds, with a body fat index that was so high that it could not be measured. I did an Evaluation and then discussed the results with her. Not only was she obese and out of shape, but her eating habits were extremely bad.
While discussing her eating habits she told me that “In Williamsburg the restaurants give you large portions.”
What??? So if someone puts a whole roast pig in front of you it means that you should eat the whole thing??
She contacted me a few days later to say that she had asked for a refund from Groupon because the experience was “not what she expected.”
What did she expect? That she was going to a gym where they would just tell her what she wanted to hear? A gym where they would ignore her true needs and let her go on using their equipment without getting any real results?
My wife said that most people just don’t want to hear the truth; so when they “do” hear the truth they ignore it or run the other way.
I own a fitness studio which is, of course, a business. Bringing in new clients is part of that business.
But….fitness and health is more than just a job to me; it’s my passion. And it has been my passion for over 30 years.
It frustrates me when I see people, especially young people, being so flippant about their health. To some people being 50, 60, 70 or 100 pounds overweight is nothing!! They would rather go to a doctor and be prescribed pills for ailments that can easily be avoided with just a little work.
There’s that word again – “work”.
As my wife says, these people must think that miraculously the fat is going to disappear; they’ll wake up one morning 50 pounds lighter just by dreaming about it.
Well….that’s not going to happen. Nothing worth having comes easy. And most things that come easy are not worth having.
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