I am my own person...and the "Couples Syndrome"

Hello everyone….and this is actually Laura, not Frank. I thought I should, on occasion, get into the act. Well…Halloween is only a couple of days away…then Thanksgiving and Christmas. This year has certainly flown.

I’ve been encountering something lately that I call the “Couples Syndrome”. But, before I get into that, let me tell you a little bit about my past.

Before I met my husband I was in a relationship that, I came to realize, was not healthy. Joey was a friend of my cousin; he used to belong to a local band and was a singer for many years. He was attractive and always had a lot of girls after him. When I met him and began dating him many of my friends thought I was extremely lucky.

What they didn’t know is that he was lazy and hated to work. He was also very insecure and was always critical of everything I did, how I looked and dressed. I always worked in Manhattan and so I had to dress up for work on a daily basis. Whenever I purchased new clothes he would beg to see them, and then tell me how much he didn’t like them. He also always dismissed my job as being trivial.

It took me a long time to realize what he was doing to my self-esteem but, thankfully, through my friends and family I finally broke off my relationship with him. I vowed that no other person would ever allow me to feel bad about myself.

I came to realize that I deserved to have someone that supported me instead of trying to tear me down.

Now…let’s get to my “Couples Syndrome”. For some reason, in the past few weeks we have had couples visiting our Studios looking for information on our services. In most cases one partner is more excited about starting an exercise routine, or needs it more.

I had one couple where the woman told me how out of shape she was, gave me a list of her medications and “knew” she needed to start an exercise program. Then both of them asked to set up a complimentary workout session for the next day. Of course, the next morning the man called to cancel.

What happened? What I believe is that one partner was really interested in our services and wanted to help herself, while her partner was not interested and so talked her out of it. Why would he do that? Maybe he was afraid that she would start looking better and he would be left behind.

But the bottom line is that he just didn’t support her, which is very sad.

Through the years we have had many clients like this. The female client that had to stop coming to work out because her husband complained that dinner wasn’t on the table when he got home; the husband that always cooks fattening foods while his wife is trying to lose weight; the woman who has been coming to our Studio for years and her husband has no idea, because he is so unsupportive.

I believe that if you truly care about someone you support them in whatever they want to do, as long as it is not harmful to them or others. My husband has always been supportive to me, and I’m the same way with him.

So, are you your own person? Or do you allow your partner to make the wrong decisions for you? Think about it….